We are called to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. This is a passage that I have had memorized for >5 yrs. But yesterday as I was reciting it out loud to myself, I kept saying “quick to speak.” Immediately it felt weird and I thought, “that can’t be right.” I then realized that this was a reminder from God of what I so often do. (God is slick and has a sense of humor like that.)
Being quick witted, a problem solver, and sarcastic (though sounding like the ultimate trifecta) has its challenges as well. I ALWAYS have a well thought out response (or so I think) in 0.36 sec.
I can usually see pretty quickly the most efficient way to accomplish a task. Obviously this is helpful but only when appropriate.
Like ol Clive Staples Lewis reminded me, instincts are not inherently bad. They all have a place but it depends on when/where that should be. C.S. says,
“Think once again of a piano. It has not got two kinds of notes on it, the “right” notes and the “wrong” notes. Every single note is right at one time and wrong at another.”
By God’s grace we learn when it is appropriate to speak and when we should first listen.
As has been alluded to, one of my biggest struggles is with controlling my tongue. As I was reminded in service last week, the tongue has disproportionate power. Similar to a ship being controlled by a small rudder, the small tongue can control/steer our life and the ones around us. Its destructive potential is real.
If we are all honest with ourselves, we can second this truth. I’m going to guess that I’m not the only one who has said things, only later to regret.
It might seem as though this isn’t a big deal but it’s even more serious than it looks. Luke reminds us that out of the abundance of our heart our mouths speak.
Translation: Whatever is in you heart will spill out when you are bumped (stressed, tired, challenged, etc); our words clearly show what is inside us. So when we don’t speak how we should, we are showing that we don’t have a tongue problem; we have a heart problem.
<<Hard truth: If you speak mean/hurtful/selfish comments, what does that show is in your heart?>>
No one walking the planet can/has ever/will ever wholly control the tongue. We just don’t have the power to do it. But there is hope. . .
You can’t tame your tongue but God can change your heart.
Our only hope is to let God change us and that starts from the inside. As He continues to change the inside, the outside (how we talk and respond) will necessarily change as well.
But it’s not just what we say. As a friend has recently been reminding me, “It’s not what we say but how we say it.” Our delivery as well as our mannerisms need to also be drenched in kindness. It’s not enough to speak the truth if it’s not delivered in love.
When I don’t act in this manner, why is that? Mainly it’s because I would rather be “right” than graciously foster the relationship. When this choice is made, the rift between two parties is only widened. Don’t let selfishness, pride, and being “right” handicap the growth of your dearest connections.
So what am I learning these days?
John, you don’t know everything. . . your perception isn’t exactly reality. . . you’re not always right.
In conclusion,
I suck
God’s not surprised
He offers a remedy (His son)
The choice to rightly use your tongue is readily available. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Lets choose life!
-jd
**Much of my thoughts are from notes from Mark Irving’s 3/3/19 sermon. It really got the thinking juices flowing. I would love to hear what you’re learning these days— reach out!!